"You do ask [God for them] and yet fail to receive. because you ask with wrong purpose and evil, selfish motives..." (James 4:3, AMP) Prayer is an invaluable part of a christian's life. We are all taught to pray from childhood. Many of us actually had someone hold our hands and teach us the steps to follow when we pray - when to say "Amen", when to say "in Jesus name", when to pause for effect, etc. We are schooled daily on the importance of prayer, and so naturally out of fear of what might happen if we don't pray; or out of guilt that we are no praying enough - we just pray. But not all prayer are acceptable to God. .
The Bible says in our text that the reason most prayers aren't answered by God is because of two things: purpose and motive.
For God to accept and answer our prayers, they must be made for the right purpose and with the right motive. Purpose refers to what we are praying about. What is the purpose of our prayer? What is my prayer meant to achieve? Now this question may be very difficult to answer - and it is. We can dive in and say the purpose of my prayer is to get money to pay my school fee, or to get back my business, to fix my marriage, to restore my child's health, to overthrow an evil government, to withstand a spiritual battle. But the truth is God does not see all those things when we pray. He is always looking at the bigger picture, and the bigger picture is "Will what we are asking for bring glory to His name? Will the purpose of our prayer serve His (God's) purpose?” Friend, that is the only purpose that He will respond to. Some people have prayed for a sick person, spent money in medication for years, fasted and invited "big" men of God to pray for such person, only to have them die. You see them wondering what happened? Is God still there? How could He not have answered that prayer? Instead of asking God numerous questions when we don't get our ways, we should listen to His voice as He speaks to us in our spirit to explain to us why He had allowed that to happen.
Purpose is the first thing God considers in every prayer. If the outcome of our prayer contradicts His purpose, forget it - He won't answer the prayer no matter how nice and important it may seem to us. Many years ago, I prayed to get admission into a University. But it wasn't in line with God's purpose for me to attend a University; He wanted me to attend a certain Polytechnic. My purpose, my path, my ministry has a lot to get from that polytechnic. It seemed harsh when God didn't answer that prayer. But when I heard Him tell me that He wanted me to attend that polytechnic instead of a University, it broke my heart. Amidst tears, I wrote the song "Me Again" which was included in my first music album. Today, many years later, I graduated as one of the top students in that school, I won a national award through that school, I am a lecturer in that school today, I married from that school, and that school has formed a fertile takeoff ground for my ministry providing me the leverage and background I needed.
Don't just think of yourself. Know that the ultimate purpose of your prayer is to bring glory to God's name - to serve His purpose. In those times, when God doesn't answer your "good" prayers, don't get discouraged. Submit to His sovereignty and allow His purpose to reign.
God bless you